Deforming the Gift: Day 15
Author: Andrew Comiskey
October 28, 2020
‘The human body in its
original masculinity and femininity according to the mystery of creation—as we
know from the analysis of Genesis 2:23-25--is not only a source of
fruitfulness, that is procreation, but has ‘from the beginning” a spousal
character, that is, it has the power to express love by which the human person
becomes a gift, thus fulfilling the deep meaning of his or her being and
existence. In this, its own distinctive character, the body is the expression
of the spirit, and is called, in the very mystery of creation, to exist in the
communion of persons “in the image of God.” Now, the concupiscence [lust,
disordered desire] “that comes from the world”--the concupiscence at stake
is directly that of the body--limits and deforms this objective mode of
existing in the body, in which man has come to share. The human “heart”
experiences the degree of this limitation or deformation above all else in the
sphere of the reciprocal relations between man and woman. Precisely in the
experience of the “heart,” femininity and masculinity in their mutual
relations seem to be no longer the expression of the spirit that tends toward
personal communion and are left only as an object of attraction…’ (TOB
32:1)
‘Concupiscence in
general—and the concupiscence of the body in particular--attacks precisely this
“sincere gift”: it deprives man, one could say, of the dignity of the gift,
which is expressed by his body though femininity and masculinity, and in some
sense ‘depersonalizes” man, making him an object “for the other.” Instead
of being “together with the other”--a subject in unity, or better, in the sacramental
“unity of the body”--man becomes an object for man, the female for the male and
vice-versa. The words of Genesis 3:16 and before them of Genesis 3:7--bear
witness to this change with full clarity by contrast when compared to Genesis
2:23-25.’ (TOB 32:4)
Another mouthful. Yet well
worth chewing on, slowly, as to savor each word. You are getting a taste of why
I read TOB over a 3-year period, writing down key phrases and meditating upon
them. I still do. Digesting this tome is, like chastity itself, a lifelong goal.
‘Concupiscence’ is a big
Catholic word that I reduce to ‘lust’, however inadequate that is. Let us
extend lust to not only erotic passion but any disordered desire that compels
us to worship the creature. East of
Eden, we fractured souls long for disintegrated aspects of others—men’s more
obvious ways in which we lust after a sexual ideal, women’s grasping for
masculine confirmation. St. John Paul II points out how lust attacks the
dignity of our sincere gift of self—that innate longing to show whole and holy
love for another with our bodies. Lust divides that ‘spousal’ gift, fractures
it, so that we give ourselves unevenly, too much here, too little there. We puff
ourselves up then deflate in shame.
I love the way St. John
Paul II distinguishes between sexual communion and attraction. He claims that
lust splits God’s will for whole-hearted, full-bodied unity between a man and a
woman; lust then reduces communion to attraction, a mere chemical pull, which
signals a deformation of the human person. Instead of encountering a person, we
long for body parts; instead of a person with mutual needs, we seek a savior. Eden
is about seamless communion. Now we see the cracks. Even in the best of
relationships, we divided ones can divide others and idealize fragments of
them, which bars us from embracing whole persons.
Attraction versus
communion. We at DSM/LW are asked often about ‘change’ of sexual attraction in
the context of ‘healing’ sexual identity issues. It is fun to know that such a
question reveals a cultural blind spot. Though physical desire for another is
not unimportant, it is not all important. What matters to St. John Paul II and
Jesus Himself is growing in communion with a whole person, body and spirit. We
cannot define sexual wholeness any other way. It is madness to me that I am
constantly derided as ‘false’ by persons driven by disordered desires who betray
their marriages and families for sexy idols; these very souls accuse persons
like me of not being ‘true’ precisely for staying true to our vows!
Attraction is a good beginning
that must be redeemed by Jesus. He makes us true by training us to commune with
another: the slow, moving in fits and starts process of cultivating desire
through progressive disclosure. Lust, on the other hand, divides us. When we
make gods and goddesses of our ‘attractions’--disordered desires and their
objects--we deform His image. Reformer Jesus intercedes for us to lay aside
childish things and proceed onto a more mature expression of the gifts we
are.
‘Jesus, forgive us for our
lusts. We all have them, and we all need to grow through and beyond them. Some
of us have never known a real man or woman, just idealized, broken images. We
have stalled in route to real engagement. Help us to resume that journey from
lust and mere attraction to communion.’
'Jesus,
thank You for confirming Amy Coney Barrett to the US Supreme Court, Your
bright light in a dismal political season.'
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