Courage of Our Convictions #1
Author: Marco Casanova
March 09, 2024
“The bishops are oblivious to the implications of
Fiducia
Supplicans,” I grumbled to my spiritual director. “I don’t think that’s
true, Marco,” he responded. “Don’t say things that aren’t true. There’s a lack
of courage, but not of understanding.”
Orthodox bishops understand the problem with
Fiducia
Supplicans. They simply choose a quiet “peace” rather than the courage to
disagree. Maybe some bishops have conscientious reasons to remain silent in
their criticism? Could “not causing more division” be a noble excuse to skirt
courage? A few keys to guide our convictions:
Courage to Critique
We need more respectful, honest criticism of Catholic
leaders who misdirect the faithful.
To begin, we need an empowered anthropology with vision
and direction.
Archbishop Chaput
says it
best:
The most urgent challenge
that Christians face in today’s world is anthropological: who and what a human
being is; whether we have some higher purpose that warrants our special dignity
as a species; whether we’re anything more than unusually smart animals who can
invent and reinvent ourselves. And yet our focus for 2024 is a synod on
synodality.
Saying these things, of
course, will invite claims of “disloyalty.” But the real disloyalty is not
speaking the truth with love. And that word “love” is not some free-floating
balloon of goodwill. It’s an empty shell without the truth to fill it.
True Accompaniment
We need sound anthropology. Knowing who God made us to become
establishes direction for accompaniment. Pope Francis calls for solidarity with
weak people aspiring to more. But, without a goal, we wander aimlessly
together.
We need leaders with faith that disordered people can
become who they are. That means chastity. Unchaste members of Christ need helpers
with love and conviction and patience, unambiguous fathers and mothers who are
willing to walk with us in the fits and starts of sexual integration.
Misuse
of Chastity
Chastity has been misrepresented by many Christians to
simply mean abstinence from disordered sexual activity. For the same-sex
attracted, that may mean “I’m gay but not having gay sex, therefore I’m
chaste.” Not quite.
“Chastity means the successful
integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in
his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the
bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when
it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the
complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman. The virtue of chastity
therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift”
(CCC #2337).
Chastity is much deeper than foregoing mortal sins. It’s
a virtue, at once a gift of the Spirit and a goal that becomes ours as we move
from disintegration to wholeness. Homosexuality, effects of sexual abuse,
addiction, misogyny and misandry, etc. are mere symptoms of subterranean disintegration.
Chastity requires shoring up the weak and wounded parts that frustrate sound gift-giving.
Need for Insight
Common obstacles to chastity tend to be psychological or
emotional.
“The psychological
genesis [of homosexuality] remains largely unexplained” (CCC #2357). That
doesn’t mean that thoughtful insight isn’t important in understanding same-sex
attraction. Same-sex desires possess underlying meaning that psychology can
help elucidate.
The Catechism gives us a spiritual,
theological, and anthropological track for our sexuality. It doesn’t try to be
a psychological manual. We must fill in the gaps with a thoughtful use of
psychology that corresponds with that track.
Tempted to suppress my sexuality as a same-sex attracted
seminarian, I wrongfully sought a holy “asexuality” that would resolve my
conflict. The hard truth: my masculine sexuality is capable and wired for
sexual intimacy with a woman. I had to be courageous and shut the door on my fake
approach to celibacy (on the grounds of my SSA). I was made for more. That
required the courage of my convictions—aligning with the truth of the Church’s
anthropology AND faith in Jesus to help me realize myself as a man made for
woman.
Read the Wound
Dr. Joseph Nicolosi helped me to understand my
vulnerability to eroticizing men. I had
no need to create an identity around symptomatic desires, e.g. ‘gay’. I just
needed to find a way through my disintegrated take on self and other guys whom
I sought to complete me. I had to read my wound, seek help in closing the
divide, and learn finally to connect with real men without sexual thrill.
“Two final qualities that are of the utmost value – patience
with oneself and an acceptance of the ongoing nature of the struggle…Resolution of
homosexual feelings is associated with the development of personal power” (Dr. Joseph
Nicolosi).
Real Courage
It takes courage to be chaste. It takes courage to go
against the flow of churchmen who would rather play it safe than true. But
guess what? In pursuing chastity for what it in truth is, Jesus has restored my
‘personal power.’ ‘Gay’ identification and pursuits are disordered ways of discovering
that power. I want the real deal.
Jesus and Church guided me and still do. I’m grateful
for the likes of Nicolosi, Comiskey, and Chaput who have accompanied me to
greater chastity. The courage of their convictions became mine.
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