Holy Family Reboot
Author: Dana Epperly
December 26, 2020
The Holy Family: Joseph, Mary and Jesus. Wow. As I
reflect on this holy trio, I wonder: “How in the world could we ever imagine
living a life comparable to this model?” Impossible?
Is there hope for freedom and authentic holiness in
our families?
I tossed back and forth, in and out of the lesbian
lifestyle and alcoholism for nearly 15 years. I would get emotionally and
sexually involved with a woman, then God would convict my heart. I would
confess my sin then two weeks later be right back in the bar drinking and
carousing with women again. I repeated this vicious cycle of destruction over
and over again. I was tired of fighting a fight I seemed to be losing at every
corner. I thought: “What am I even fighting for?” I caved into who everyone
else said I was and embraced “gay” everything.
That decision affected the depths of my heart and life,
especially my relationship with my parents. During my "lesbian-lived-lifestyle",
relating to my parents became extremely difficult for everyone. We became extremely
disconnected. We couldn't share anything without getting too personal so we
always avoided the "elephant in the room". We were like oil and water
trying to come together. It simply didn't work.
As I descended into sin and addiction, darkness
overtook every part of my life. It separated me from God and from everyone I
loved. John 10:10 reads: “The enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.” That was
true for me and my parents. The enemy stole our closeness; he was killing my
relationship with them and our family overall.
Matthew 9:26 describes Jairus falling at the feet of
Jesus and begging Him to save his daughter who appeared to be dead. Jesus loved
Jairus and did not hesitate to go with him to see her. Jesus is full of
compassion: He feels the pain that His people feel. Jesus was pleased that
Jairus had the faith to come to Him.
My mom and dad were like Jairus. They too fell at the
feet of Jesus, begging him to come and save me from death. When all seemed hopeless,
I believe they also heard the voice of Jesus saying to them: "Dana is not
dead, she is only sleeping." Faith roused them to believe I was more than
the sum of my dismal condition.
In truth, my parents would go through seasons of
unbelief and doubt in God’s saving power. It makes sense: I was spiritually
dead. They would strain to see light and hope for me then would struggle to
keep looking.
Finally, I came to the end of myself through some
extremely difficult circumstances. I gave up and surrendered to Jesus'
merciful, relentless love for me. Through repentance, I realized that my
parents love for me had NEVER MOVED. They didn't move and God’s love for me
NEVER moved either.
It was His loving kindness that brought me to
repentance. Although my parents were not perfect, I can honestly say they loved
me well and suffered long for me. I believe their love has been a beautiful reflection
of the Father’s (ABBA) love for me. True repentance from my heart has
reconciled me to the Father and the blood of the Lamb has made us family once
again. It is truly glorious!
I am in awe of how God makes all things new! God not
only delivered me and brought me back to life; He made us ONE AGAIN as a family.
He has healed and restored our relationship to its rightful order. My parents
and I can now share the Word of God together in an intimate way. We worship God
together. We pray and war in the Spirit and now stand in the gap for ones who
are lost and broken in addictions.
We are closer now than before and are ONE IN THE
SPIRIT OF THE LORD. That's what makes us one. His Love binds us together. We
are one family again! There is FREEDOM and HOPE in my family again! The Lord
has turned our mourning into dancing! Praise His Holy name!
Can we attain this kind of holiness in our own
families? I believe it because I taste it now. I taste the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living.
Regardless of how imperfect we are, I encourage each
one of us to seek this kind of freedom in our family relationships. Let us look
up to the "Holy Family" and pray for more in our own families. We can reach for the grace of holiness in our
families. It is attainable because God’s mercy flows through us.
“With men this is impossible, but with God all things
are possible.” (Matt. 19:26)
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